Thing 2 Part 2

I can remember certain moments with Thing 2 like it was it just happened yesterday. When it comes to him, I think my mind goes into selective memory mode. He was like heroin for me. Just looking at him made me feel euphoric. Every moment before he had pulled me into the closet to confess how he felt about me, I was always very realistic and practical about our relationship. I had accepted that I would always have a crush on him. I would always watch him go in and out of relationships the rest of my life. I would always be his friend, but never anything more than that. I was fine with that. I was ready for that... as long as he was always in my life, even as a friend, that was all I needed.

It all came crashing down at that moment. I suddenly didn't know where things were suppose to go at that point and I didn't know what anything meant. He sent me an email a few days later, mostly rambling about nothing, and then at the end, it simply said "...and I miss you even though I know I shouldn't. I miss you a lot." I cried after I read that.

I still wouldn't hold my breath. He was so flakey that I didn't try to hold any false hope. So, I went about my business. My ex showed up at my place one night about 2 weeks after the closet incident, unannounced, as usual, wanting to talk. I wanted to rage at him, to tell him stop coming over and stop crowding me. He needed to let go, but I didn't say anything. I let him in, I let him sit and talk to me. I listened to him. He actually didn't even talk about us. He was just lonely, and that moment, so was I.

I probably shouldn't have let him touch my hand, I probably shouldn't of let him kiss me, or take me to my bed and let him make-love to me. I was a confused and sad, and I needed to someone in a way that only skin on skin contact could help solve... for at least a short while.

Later, when the ex was passed out in my bed, I got a call. It was Thing 2. Oh-shit.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call," he said right when I picked up the phone. I moved to the living room while ex snored away.

"Hi," I said trying not to sound happy to hear from him, "how are you?"

"I'm ok. Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah," I didn't think it was the right time to bring up the fact that my ex, his cousin, was passed out in the next room after I fucked him.

"Let me just get this out of the way. I meant what I said other week, and I didn't mean it like I loved you like a friend. I meant it like I love you. Like I really love you."

"Oh,"I didn't want to disrupt his flow. It didn't sound like he was done talking.

"Haven't you ever noticed that the entire time we've been friends I've never had a girlfriend? Sure, girls I hooked up with or whatever, but not a real girlfriend?"

"I just thought you were afraid of commitment or something."

"I'm afraid of commitment with the wrong woman, sure. I always thought, in the back of mind... I wonder if you would like them, or I can't talk to her like I do with you, or I was kind of comparing them to you in ways that I wasn't even aware of. Then you broke with him, and it suddenly became clear to me. I'm in love with you. I wouldn't admit to myself when you guys were together."

I was silent for a bit. "Well what does that mean? What do you want from me?" Ok, so maybe it wasn't the most romantic reply when someone is spilling his guts to you, but I was in shock. I know this guy, probably better than anyone and I've never heard him say anything like this before about anyone he was involved with.

"I don't necessarily want anything from you... I don't think I do... I don't know, maybe... I just... I didn't really think that far ahead. I just needed to tell you. I knew that."

"Okay," I said slowly, "I'm afraid of what to say. I know how I feel, but I don't know what it means if I actually say it. "

We were quiet for a long time and then he said, "This could work, you know. We could work... "

"You know, ex is here right now. He's asleep in the other room," I said. I wanted him to know that I wasn't hiding anything.

“He just showed up, didn’t he?” he wasn’t angry. He actually had a slight laugh to his voice, like he knew it all along.

“Yeah.”

“I figured. I was talking to him earlier. He was asking if I thought he should go see you, that he really needed to see you. I told him to give you space. It wasn’t cool to just go showing up. But, I guess he couldn’t stop himself.”

I didn’t reply.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said quietly.

“Will you come up here?”

“I can. Why?”

“So I know there won’t be any surprise visits from all your men,” he said, not so lightly.