Lies

The evenings we spend together and the mornings before you awake, I press myself against your back with my arms around you...trying not to forget you, your smell, your skin, our lies...The mornings and days after our nights together are a sign that it is the end of our lies as we go back to our real lives...

I knew it was different with you than almost anyone I've ever been with when I feel sad when you go. I've probably only felt sad about 3 people I've ever been intimate with.... But I've been thinking about writing about us, about me and when I do start thinking about it, I start to ponder things a little more closely than I normally would.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to fall again. I would have liked to feel like that with you. If you were to tell me things that I would need to hear, I would probably change my life for you...so as much as I wish and desire to hear you say the words...I am glad you don't. I would like to believe that you stop yourself and that you do not say more than you should because our silence is really the only things that sustains our delicate friendship.

The only thing that I am able to control are my own actions. I don't even control my own feelings. I asked you, not too long ago, if there has ever been anyone you have regretted, some one that pulls our heart strings a little more than anyone else in your past may have. You said that there hasn't ever been, that most of your relationships ended for good reasons. I believe that about everything. I believe that when most things end, no matter the reason, it's probably a good one.

I wonder what our reasons will be...