My biological father abandoned us when I still a baby. I never met him and can’t honestly say I have any feelings for him aside from curiosity. C has been around for as long as I can remember, and he has loved my mother and all her baggage (aka me and my sister) for more than 30 years. After a lifetime of hurt, they found each other and built a life together. Their love wasn’t perfect or story book, but their love and devotion to one another was sincere....and that is a lot more than most people will ever have in their lives.
Through the trials and tears, lots and lots of yelling and fighting...there were also a lot of laughs. We were a bunch of broken people who tried the best we could to build a happy and honest life. C never denied my mother anything she wanted, and I can honestly say that everything he did, he did it for her. He made her happy, and my mom is hard woman to please...but he never ever stopped trying. Important things in his life were as follows...my mother, the grandkids, beer, Mercedes Benzes, and the Lakers. You could probably even list beer on there twice.
We hoped that today would be a day that everyone could remember how funny, generous and happy C was, almost to a fault.... He never said no to me, he treated me like I was his own. He bought me my first car, helped pay for my education, walked me down the aisle at my wedding, helped with all the major and minor events in my life whether it was financially or just to lend his moral support...C was my dad in every single way possible.
Growing up in this type of life has taught me a lot. Nothing is perfect. We don’t choose who we love. We can’t always control the outcome of our actions. We can’t always cling to ideals set by society and define ourselves by them, because no matter what everything will always fall short. We take it day by day. But most importantly, C taught me that without forgiveness we would never be able to move onward and forward with our lives. Without forgiveness we would never be able be truly happy, and when a group of broken people come together to form a family, we just do the best we can..and forgiveness and love is all we have.
C, I love you. I will always love you. You leave behind you a lot of people who will dearly miss you. I’m sorry for all the grief we may have caused you, but just know, that I would not be who I am today if I had not had you in my life. I know you were happy every single day, and you were content with your life. I only wish we had more time with you. You will always be my dad, you will always be Lolo to M and L, Ch and Char will always be my brother and sister, E will always be my nephew... because love is thicker than blood. Thank you for everything...