October 1, 2009

October 1, 2009

I’ve had job interview upon job interview, and all I can come up with is that everything sucks. I was in Old Town Pasadena interviewing at an advertising agency. Of course, because I wanted it so badly, I didn’t get it. The competition is pretty stiff. I was going up against candidates that where art directors and went to Art Center and Creative Circus. Geez. The job was for a part-time Account Executive, and for the size of that ad agency, the AE position can be roughly translated as secretary.

On the bright side, at least I don’t feel like a loser. I am going against the best of the best for a nothing position, and the fact that I even made the interview cut is a pretty big deal…. Right? Ugh, it’s so pathetic finding a bright side in such a vacuum.

I’m also trying to decide if I should sell insurance for a living. Talk about wanting to kill yourself. Me. Selling insurance. What a fucking nightmare.

When I get like this, I try to distract myself by completely debasing myself. That’s right! It’s time for me to start fucking other men outside of my marriage. I don’t call it cheating… because I technically have my husband’s permission. While my career and financial status may be taking a nosedive… my personal life, my marriage, my family… are perfect. That shows you how unfair life is.

I like the thrill of having lovers. I love being worshipped by men who aren’t my husband. It’s both flattering and ego boosting. I walk taller, I feel prettier and I my aura is on fire with sex and confidence.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been chatting online with a man. I love the Internet. It give my Id a place to come out and play. I wouldn’t normally be attracted to this particular type of guy, but he did provide a good amount of stimulating conversation, and that goes a long way. He’s very thin, too thin. So thin that it just isn’t right for a man of almost 6 foot tall to be that thin. He could be considered emaciated. His face was angular and square, but could be largely attributed to that fact that he was basically skin on bones. He had that dirty Robert Pattinson hygiene thing going. Which is fine… but from a distance. There's a slight undercurrent of body odor. I can't tolerate that. If you want to bump time with me you better smell like heaven. He was formerly a model, in his hay day. I expect so, being so thin, he was a great candidate for the CK One ads of the 90s, or a Fiona Apple video whore. He has that skinny dirty thing going for him. So, unfortunately... I think the skinny b.o. thing is going to beat out his very sweet personality and his admiration of me.

I'm not sure if I find him attractive. That's shallow, isn't it? But if I'm going to fuck around just to fuck around, I can be as picky as I like, and honestly, I feel like I can break him in half. I'm not trying to be femme fatal about it at all. I'm a full figured woman. A lot of women who are actually obese would say the same thing, to avoid saying they're fat, but I'm about a size 10 at 5'4" with very large 36DD breasts. If I decided to climb on top of Skeletor, I'm sure all I'd be able to feel are his hip bones poking the shit out of me. I know this from experience... trust me.